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Breaking Down Blizzard PR’s Christmas Card

I just checked my spam folder at Vagary. Gmail is doing work. It now send everything from Blizzard straight to the spam box. I guess they noticed how many “your accounts been haxxors” emails I was getting and decided to say screw it. That’s cool and all, but I wish there was a setting for “broken English” and “legitimate PR.”

Not one, not two, but four emails from their PR team went straight to junk mail. For weeks. And that’s depressing because I could have had this gem to share with you that much earlier.

I know, right? If you look closely, you’ll recognize none of the signatures at the bottom. It’s their PR team. Good folks.

There’s too much here to take at face value. Let’s look at each part of this card…

A fine specimen of Goblin engineering. Will it launch? Will it explode? We don’t know, but one thing is for sure: those light bulbs are going to make some pretty wicked shrapnel. The goblin who made this thing must really hate his co-workers. Hey, Goblin? This isn’t the Looney Toons! This is World-of-Freaking-Warcraft. People DIE here. And get looted.

Giant squid doesn’t believe in global warming.

What’s he so mad about, anyway? He’s the single most festive squid I’ve ever seen. And that thing on the top of his head? That’s an eye, people. Do you know what he could do with that? Hint: right now he’s checking out some fine, fine kneecap.

You do NOT decorate ghost-tree. Repeat: Do NOT decorate ghost-tree.

I think I saw that dude in Felwood once. Good to see he pulled up roots. Yeah, I went there. *rimshot*

This is what happens when Samwise watches too much Disney. THIS IS NOT A WORGEN, SAMWISE. WORGEN ARE BIG AND MEAN AND CAUSE YOU TO QUESTION YOUR CONTINENCE. THIS IS NOT A CONTINENCE QUESTIONING WORGEN, SAMWISE! And Worgen do NOT wear knickers.

Wait a second. No, hold on just one second here. I’ve got it!

The Blizzard wolf is actually Ferrel! Ho, ho, my friend. You’ve kept your secret from me for too long.

Still not convinced?

How about now? I’m sorry, guys, it just doesn’t get much clearer than that.

Finally, WTF is the Last Airbender doing in a Blizzard cartoon? In SHAMAN BEADS?! One thing is for sure, though: he’s pretty happy to see ghost-tree mutilate that girl. Oh, when love turns sour…

Anyways, thank you Gmail for hiding this from me. Lord knows I wouldn’t have appreciated this until AFTER the Christmas season.

Hehehe… Airbender likes the ghost-tree.

2 comments

  1. Yogi

    That Ferrel comparison had me rolling. He will not be amused haha.
    Yogi recently posted..Yogi’s Response- Sandbox Games

  2. Bilingue

    Now that I look at the monk. Very interesting now after they announce it as a class…

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